Season Wrap Up: Lost

*CAUTION, SPOILERS AHEAD*

Going into this week's fifth season finale, the producers of Lost promised the audience a death that would shake us to the core the way the loss of Charlie did. And, just like almost every promise of grandeur handed down by the Darlton that be, once again this proved to be a bit of a stretch.

Let's jump in right away with the big death, the heartfelt emotional centre of the episode. After Sayid was shot (a clear cut indicator that he won't be the one to perish, the first one to fall never stays down for good) I spent way too much of the episode running over possible scenarios in my head. "Damon and Carlton said it would be someone we love, someone who would affect us greatly with their death. So that leaves me with Sawyer, Kate and Jack. It has to be one of the clear-cut good guys, can't be Ben or Locke. Sayid, Hurley, Sun, Jin and Miles weren't central enough to kill this season. Then there are the non-castaways: Juliet, Desmond and Penny, all of whom I love dearly but the show could easily live without... but the main three are too essential, too popular, too important to the forward momentum of the show...": this was seriously my thought process through all the shootouts and showdowns. And then they killed Juliet in a big self-sacrificial (pale echoes of Charlie) and self-pitying "Sawyer will always be in love with the girl he is actually not in love with" kind of way, and all I could do was roll my eyes, curse the producers for talking it up and then thank them for not killing someone more crucial. I'll miss Juliet but seriously, that was nothing compared to Charlie's death (which I still consider the greatest moment in Lost history and one of TV's most tragic scenes).

And while we're on the subject of the love quadrangle and Juliet's bizarre abandoning of Sawyer out of random fear of rejection, let's talk about Kate and her absurd power over men. Jack completely defines his life worth by his proximity to Kate and a single glance in her direction undermines Sawyer's three year relationship with Juliet? I don't care how hot she is, that's overkill.

In other news:

-Apparently Locke really is dead and Darlton wasn't kidding about that zombie season they keep teasing on the podcast.

-The illusive Jacob is played by a villain from Dexter, or at least he was until two old men managed to annihilate him with very little effort.

-It seems the Dharma van is a the thematic rescue vehicle of season finales.

- Phil is impaled: third coolest death ever (just after Frogurt's flaming arrow to the heart)

- Jacob is consumed in flames: actual coolest death ever.

-I could not have been happier to see the old campsite and Charlie's DriveShaft ring again, it was reminiscent of the golden age of Lost.

- Way to be awesome Rose and Bernard.

- Hi Vincent! We missed you.

-Please do let me know if there is anyone out there who does not yet hate Ilana- I want to know why not.

-Oh, and Jack tried to blow up the island to set the past (future? present?) back to the way it should have been. Possible disasterous results.

My best guess for next season: the events of season 1 play out all over again after Jack resets time.

Overall, the finale was mediocre at worst and overrated at best, a substandard cap to a decent, if uneven, penultimate season.

Finale Grade: B-

Season Grade: B