I don't usually cry while watching TV. Well, maybe sometimes. Okay, every now and again, but not super super easily. I'm secretly a cryer, I'll admit that; I'm a chocolate turtle; one of those "nougat-y" people is what Glee would call me. Or, as my friend Rini puts it, I'm a marshmallow. But Glee usually just makes me mad. It's one of the few shows that elicits a big reaction from me; underneath my metaphorically mixed porcupine spikes, deep down in my marshmallow centre, Glee makes me feel things, usually anger. But tonight, tonight was all sorts of genuine human emotion inspiring, and not one of those genuine human emotions was anger.
Oh, and the triumphant pride that came later in the episode when Kurt, abused by the writers last season as he whined and pined his way through the victim role, finally stood up for himself- that felt good! The courage and strength and sense of self and confidence of principles that that took- I literally cheered for him. Given courage by the wonderful new character Blaine, Kurt stopped letting himself be made into (and making himself into) a victim. For the first time, the kid seemed comfortable in his own skin. And the emotional hits just keep on coming.
And the Beiste. Oh, the Beiste. I adore her, I have since the first time she showed up. Other than the fact that she really shouldn't have let Mr. Schue and the boys so uncomfortably pander to her at the end there, her arc in this episode was truly heartbreaking/wonderful/some of the most beautifully honest writing this show's ever had (and Dot-Marie Jones, what a performance!) This is where I cried. Obviously. If you've ever read this blog, ever, or know me even a little, you could have guessed that (oh and the proud of Kurt thing, sometimes pride gets me too). She was so vulnerable but sort of uncomfortable with that fact, strong and smart and unwilling to play the victim card but still willing to share the tough stuff. My god, would that we were all as amazing as Shannon Beiste.
Bravo Glee writers, that's 3 good episodes in row. And this one wasn't just good, it was "I'm gonna remember feeling like that for a while" kind of good (if we ignore the bad, which I'm absolutely dedicated to doing in this moment). The ups and the downs of joy, empathy, pride and all the other complicated and ultimately awesome stuff- that's metaphorically busting up the robotic song machine for you. Now to actually bust up that robotic song machine...