Honour, Bitterness and The Hantz Family Name

Sophie won Survivor tonight because the season's best player, Coach, made the crucial mistake of overvaluing Rick's likability and undervaluing Sophie's challenge badassery. There came a point bizarrely early in the game when it was inevitable that Coach would make the finals, but he didn't clinch the loss until he brought Sophie there with him. There were only 2 people in the top 7 who could've beaten Coach. He rightly took out Ozzy, knowing full well that the adventure-seeking king of Redemption Island would slay the final vote. But not taking out a strong and smart strategist who played a quiet and simple game is a cliche downfall in the Survivor finale; Coach said it himself, it was his game to lose, so he lost it.

And while the results were less than perfect (I liked Sophie okay, but I really did want Coach to win), the most interesting thing about the finale is always the jury speeches and the live reunion.

This year's jury speeches were the usual bull crap of bitter self-righteousness. I was expecting better from Jim, whom I'm convinced is a better player than he seems to be; he's held on to his anger at Cochran far too long and, though his was one of only 3 votes that rightly went to Coach, he's smart enough and a big enough fan of the game to know that resenting the top 3 for beating you is the mark of someone who doesn't have the head for Survivor. Rick, Keith and Whitney? They performed as expected, but I was hoping for a little more game perspective from Jim. Dawn was as expected, in a good way, because she's who everyone should strive to be like (thanks Sophie, for that line). Edna, on the other hand, was kind of great at final tribal council. She wasn't interested in lecturing the final 3 or trapping them with accusing questions, instead she laid down the law with the rest of the jury, pointing out what all real Survivor fans know: you signed up to be deceived, don't be bitter and just reward the best gameplayer. The fact that she then voted for Sophie over her long-time ally Coach was a bit surprising but she had the right spirit.

The other person who, far more predictably, got over  his bitterness decently was Cochran. He didn't deliver the way I wanted him to at final tribal but he made the right point as he cast his vote for Coach, pointing out that if you looked past the honour act (more on that in a minute), he played a pretty great game, and that's always the person who should win the million*. A lot's been said about John Cochran over the course of this season and a lot of it's been pretty unfair. There are those who were disappointed that he wasn't a mastermind, considering he's a Harvard student who's studied the game like it's his law textbooks (probably more intently, actually), but those people forget that even Boston Rob wasn't Boston Rob his first time round. Survivor's intimidating, especially for a super fan, and it takes time to figure out how to play it like the pros we've come to measure everyone against (there's a reason returning players have been doing so well against newcomers). The kid got tongue-tied and scared and star-struck, that doesn't make him a bad player and it certainly doesn't make him a bad guy. On his second go-round, when he's not quite as desperate for each and every day he can get on the island, Cochran's game WILL step up, he just needs to get his head screwed on right. Then there are the people who are upset Cochran flipped on his tribe. If you're upset because he betrayed the group he was arbitrarily placed with on day one and therefore was assumed to have loyalty to, is this your first time watching Survivor? Because I don't think this is the show for you, you're missing the point. If you're upset because it was SO OBVIOUS that he wouldn't be able to move above 7th place within Upolu, please try and remember that the only time the tribes see each other is at challenges, Cochran had no way of knowing he was joining a cult until he'd already drank the Kool-aid. If you're upset because the move meant that Dawn was left stranded with very few options and probably wouldn't win after that- then I feel your pain, because Dawn's awesome and I would have liked to see Cochran try a little harder to work with her and maybe flip Albert. But seriously, sometimes the best player in Survivor history gets voted out 8th because things just didn't go his way (here's lookin' at you season 20), Cochran'll do better next time.

Now, on to the honour code, the real issue of the season. Let's start with Coach. Cochran's right, he played an excellent game this year, something that would have gotten a lot more respect if he hadn't talked so much about playing with honour (and, for heaven's sake, if he would just stop giving his word "as a Christian man"). Because the truth is that unless you can 100% win your way to the end (which isn't possible, because Ozzy couldn't do it, which means it cannot be done), it's impossible to keep your hands completely clean. An alliance that can go unbroken has to consist of no more than 3 people, which isn't enough to control the numbers and make it to the end, so it can't be your only alliance. It is impossible to play Survivor well within an unforgiving moral code. Good people have played it, and won it, but at some point they all have to turn their backs on someone, at least once. And that's what Coach tried to do this year, be the best person he could be without playing a stupid, nonstrategic game. I actually think he succeeded at that. It's a shame, really, that the legacy of this season will probably rest in the ways religion was seen to be manipulated, because I honestly believe that Coach never meant to be hypocritical or manipulative in his invocation of God. I think in sharing his beliefs with a tribe who happened to intensely believe as well, Coach's ideals got elevated and the moral bar placed impossibly high. In all earnestness, Coach just talked too much about the man he'd like to be and the way he wished the game could be played, and his literal-minded tribe couldn't understand, then, when he had no real way of being that much more than the man he is, playing a game that gives you the option between being good and being successful.

Which brings me to Brandon, the last man on earth who should ever be playing Survivor. Just FYI, for the purposes of this paragraph I intend on ignoring is creepy and sexist behaviour towards Mikayla, his terrifying emotional immaturity and his upsetting fundamentalism, because I've already covered those, I think they're a product of his environmental upbringing more than anything and they're somehow actually not relevant to the point I'm about to make about who I think Brandon is. Steel yourselves... I think Brandon's a good guy. No, I really do. I don't like him much, I certainly never want to actually meet him, but I think goodness comes down to intention and all Brandon wants is to be a good guy, and so, as often as he may fail, I think he somehow is. But here's the trick, I actually don't think Russell's a bad guy, and somehow we've gotten locked into a Hantz mythology in which Russell is the embodiment of all the evil that threatens to grip Brandon if he doesn't fight his darkest urges. Really? The re-writing of Russell's Survivor history actually drove me more crazy than anything else this season. He was a good strategist, that was all (not an evil mastermind, or a mastermind of any kind really, just a good strategist). Russell didn't spend his time yelling and screaming and hurling insults, he spent it convincing people of things that aren't true- that's very different. I may not be remembering correctly, but I don't recall Russell making anyone cry, I don't remember him telling anyone that everyone hates them or him lying about anything beyond minuscule Survivor loyalties, really (he pretended to be poor and that his dog died in Katrina, he did do that, but freaking Johnny Fairplay pretended his grandmother died and we didn't care this much!). I don't think Russell has a Survivor legacy, memory of his gameplay seems to have largely faded (for the record, he was a strong player who fooled people well and was always loyal to at least one person, though both times I think his partner in crime deserved to win over him- Natalie and Parvati), what Russell has is a mythology- a reputation that gets whispered about and tossed off like a curse word, based in very little fact, compiled upon itself. He himself seems to have lost sight of his own failings as a player and that arrogance doesn't help the cause, but it isn't enough to merit the abusive way the show treats him. Nothing made my thoughts on Russell clearer than the moment in this season's reunion when Jeff asked Russell to critique his nephew Brandon's gameplay. His response was to Brandon: "I'm uncle Russell, that's how you know me. But I'm also Russell from Survivor. So I can not say anything if that's what you want, or I can criticize your strategy". Does it not occur to these people who see Russell as the embodiment of evil that evil would never offer to be quietly supportive instead of stake its claim as the superior player? All season, Russell has watched as his nephew attempts to play the game he loves the way it is absolutely not meant to be played. I appreciate Brandon's desperation to stay honest and "good", but he shouldn't be doing it on Survivor, it's a game that requires moving people like chess pieces, a game that his uncle worships, and a game Brandon himself has very little respect for; it requires more than he was willing to give it, so he shouldn't have been playing. But it's still absurd and, frankly, heartbreaking that Brandon's family would turn on him for choosing the path of straightforward survival over playing a smart strategic game (the ultimate Survivor virtue), but that's not because his game was anything but obnoxious to true Survivor fans, it's because no one should be persecuted for the way they choose to play Survivor. It's a reality show for crying out loud, it's not a greater metaphor, no matter how hard Jeff tries to pretend it is. Brandon's disastrous strategies were laughable, not criminal, and Russell's were impressive (and temporarily, not ultimately successful), not villainous. What Brandon did wrong was assume that Russell did something wrong. He went on that show proclaiming that he was going to "clear the Hantz family name", right some wrong that simply didn't exist. I get that the kid is fighting against a family that pushes him to succeed at any cost (did you see his father?!), but the incredible judgement just needs to end. Russell loves the spotlight and he really loves the game of Survivor and what he believes to be his untouchable strategic approach to the game, and I'm sure that had a lot to do with him showing up to that reunion, but the proudest, most defensive, most in need of defending player in Survivor history was asked to offer his expert strategic analysis after a season that literally compared him to Hitler and instead of attacking, he looked right at the well-intentioned but misguided young boy who is nothing if not ashamed of his uncle and offered, as "uncle Russell" to not say a word. People, you may not like him, but that does not a villain make. Russell's not the nicest guy in the world, and Brandon's not the smartest, but neither deserves to be treated completely without compassion, and for inexplicable and opposite reasons, they both are, which is just not okay by any standard of "goodness".

*just a side note, this show is more than a decade old now, it's about time they upped the prize. This isn't Big Brother where a little public embarrassment and a lot of boredom earns you a fun social experiment and a shot at $500,000; Survivor is freaking hard- these people starve and work their fingers to the bone and put themselves in harm's way for challenges- and to actually win the game takes unbelievable social abilities, insight into the human psyche and the sort of moral compromise that can really eat at a person. And all they get is one lousy million MINUS TAXES?! Come on CBS, cough it up, would ya?

Onwards Toward the Finale

This has been a mighty weird season of Survivor. After last year's dual narrative of redemption island's Christ-like figure in Matt and the main island's godfather figure in Rob (and the awesome landslide victory in favour of manipulation and mind control), I was thinking it might be time to put Jesus away for awhile, maybe come to terms with the fact that God has no interest in reality TV. Not so fast. This thing is called Redemption Island and these folks are middle Americans, ain't nothin' gonna stop the religious crazy train currently off the rails somewhere in the South Pacific. And the producers are loving it, Jeff's soaking it up and by gosh it makes for some compelling drama, even if it makes me worry a little for the well-being of the players (there's more than one this year who honestly believes God speaks directly to them, I fear it's a tumor).

Here's the deal: this year's 2 tribes were each assigned a past player. Savaii got Ozzy, famous for his survival and competition skills and for particularly bad social and strategic game. The issue over there was that new players don't know how to not follow the lead of the veteran and Ozzy should not be left in charge of tribal tone. The group quickly divided along cool-kid lines and alliances of perceived strength were formed. With the exception of a single move (Jim ousting Ozzy's right hand woman), it was a paint-by-numbers tribe following a leader uninterested in leading. The tribe's best asset, Dawn, fell quickly by the wayside because the numbers lined up against her age early; and the tribe's best strategist, Jim, was sidelined because he was a bit too much of a jerk to convince the others that they should follow him instead of trying to force Ozzy to step up. The leadership failure brought Savaii down when the merge happened and the weak were still looking for somewhere to turn. Low man on the totem pole, Cochran, flipped and the rest of Savaii was history. Save Ozzy, the man for whom Redemption Island was invented as a twist; it's a haven for a self-sufficient competition-winner with no head for the game. There was no way for Ozzy to win Survivor, so the game changed for him, and now he might just take it.

The opposite phenomenon happened on the other tribe, Upolu. While Savaii had a universally liked laiser-faire monkeyman as their veteran player, Upolu was handed one of the series' most polarizing figures: Coach. There are many tribes which would have kicked Coach off no questions asked on day one. But he struck gold with Upolu, landing on a tribe with overwhelming religious conviction where the loudest voice of the lot (Brandon's) was crazier than his own. Coach's problem has always been that he's a born leader on tribes that had no interest in following him, but this crowd nuzzled right in to his welcoming arms after less than a day of the cold shoulder. Most of them appreciated Coach's oddly intense moral code and zen religiosity, and those who didn't just happened to be off-putting loudmouths (and poor Mikayla, whom the world seemed to line up against; there was nothing she could do). With people finally listening to him, Coach was able to unleash the incredible charm and leadership he's always tried to show, leading the tightest-knit tribe since, well, since Rob's "family" last season, convincing Cochran to flip with some basic understanding of human psychology and a whole lot of genuine warmth. Coach is being a little more upfront about his strategies, but he's running the ship with an awfully familiar tightness, as though he's learned his lesson by watching season 22's perfect game. He's got these guys on a string and every single attempt one of them makes to move in another direction mysteriously fails (come on Albert, why can't you get anything done?). The constant praying and absurd statements like "it's the will of God, go win at redemption" may be undermining the audience's opinion of what's actually an incredibly well-played game (and could cost him dearly with the jury), but in the meantime, Coach is getting things done on that island; he may be claiming (and actually believe) God's behind it all (God does not care about Survivor, let's get that straight) but with this tribe in particular, that's actually working out pretty well for Coach.

Which brings us to the final 5 and tonight's massive craziness. The final 5 was Coach's day-one alliance made up of himself, 2 loony religious die-hards and 2 people who should've flipped weeks ago. Alas, no one seems to want to flip on Coach, they've all got it in their heads that they can beat him in the finale. Now, I know most juries are bitter groups totally lacking in perspective, but the only person in the final 7 (let alone 5) who, might be able to take down Coach in a realistic finale would be Sophie. Nobody else has done anything (and this from someone who honestly believes Natalie White deserved to win Samoa). I think, just to be safe, Coach should've saved Brandon this week, taken that crazy pants with him, with Rick, to the end to claim his prize. Actually, Brandon shouldn't have needed saving at all, the little weirdo won immunity then gave it away because Jesus told him to save Albert. Then Jesus told Coach to vote out his closest ally (dude, Jesus likes allies, the reason you had the name "Brandon" in your head is because that's who YOU wanted to vote out, from back before you were "pissed but at peace" with him winning immunity. YOU, not Jesus, you made that call). So, you know, one of the dumber moves there's ever been, but also hilarious, and somehow appropriate for this lot. Brandon goes to redemption island where Ozzy's been feeding, sleeping and training to bring him down; Coach, Sophie, Albert and Rick move on as the final four. As far as we know, Coach has the stupid idea that he wants to bring Ozzy with him to the finale (ensuring himself the loss), but he has the hidden idol and he has the tribe in his pocket. It would take an act of God to hurt his momentum to the finale now (pun intended).

So, moving forward towards Sunday's 3 hour finale+reunion extravaganza, here's what I want:

- I want Brandon to take Ozzy out on Redemption (not likely), sending him to the jury where Coach can't make the mistake of allying with him.

- I want Albert to succeed in convincing the others to vote out Sophie, the most likely player to win the game having done very little to earn it (2 immunity wins is not solid Survivor-playing, you can nail this game without a single immunity, but Jeff doesn't hand out strategy as a prize to the best plate stacker)

- I want the others to then vote out Albert. I don't want her to win but Sophie's right, he does think he's smarter than he is. I've always liked Albert and I was glad to see him saved this week, but a great strategist would've found a way to implement at least one of those many plans he's hatched.

- I want a finale of Coach-Rick-Brandon where the jury gives it to the guy who controlled the game. Pipe dream, I know, especially after Rob's win last year, but it's what I want. Rob taught us that the way to win is to take the crazy (Philip, Brandon) and the useless (Natalie, Rick) with you to the end. If Brandon pulls it out on redemption, Coach might be able to do just that (again, not likely, but it's nice to dream).

Meanwhile, I may not have someone I truly love still in the game this season (I'm very fond of Coach, but sometimes the God talk crosses out of admirable and into delusional territory) but I'm more than happy to amuse myself watching the jury's bemused expressions as these lunatics air their dirty laundry. Jim is a master of silent sarcastic incredulity- gee, I'd really like to see him return for another season, see what that excellent mind of his can do with a little more social self-awareness.

In "We Love Jeff Probst" news, anyone wondering who the best host on TV is needed to be watching this tribal council even more than all his other brilliant mediation efforts. Brandon gives up his immunity necklace then seems to regret it, so what does Jeff do? He corners Albert in his 400th lie of the episode, forcing him to worm his way out of giving the necklace back to Brandon as a show of Christian good faith. Ha! The necklace falling from Albert's neck just as Probst snuffs Brandon's torch was just the icing on the cake. Man, no one can meld crazy good drama out of basic crazy like Jeff Probst.

See you Sunday, Jeff (still my favourite Survivor), and congrats on your wedding!

In "Reality" on CBS (and some other places)

by Kelly Bedard

The summer reality season has been winding down (thanks for an incredibly awkward summer, Bachelor Pad!) and the fall season is starting up (go Chaz Bono, go!), never more interestingly than on the network that undoubtedly rules the reality universe- CBS. We've still got a couple days to go before the new Amazing Race (Ethan and Jenna for the win!) but we've got more than a few thoughts on the end of Big Brother and the start of Survivor.

The Winner Takes it All

Jeff Probst said it best: "I've gotten in trouble in the past for having an opinion. But I'm gonna have one now: that was as close to a perfect game as I've ever seen played".

Now, as any Survivor fan knows, Jeff is smarter than you; Jeff is always right. And he has never been righter.

This was the season of Rob Mariano. He played a perfect game: controlling his tribe from start to finish, staying loyal as much as he could without sacrificing his end game, winning the important challenges, staying in the good books of the future jurors and never losing sight of the prize (or his reasons for playing- Amber and the kids). Rob also adapted his strategy to fit the two major twists added to the game since his last successful run in the first All-Star season (hidden immunity idols and redemption island). He also played for the viewers, dropping quotable line after quotable line, narrating his strategy and bringing us in as his only true confidants.

And at tonight's finale he was rewarded for his brilliance, finally winning the million dollars after 10 years of Survivor gameplay. The vote was 8-1 (Ralph's vote went to Phillip, out of sheer "I like this guy"-ness) and Rob took home the $100,000 for Fan Favourite as well. That vote came down to a 40%-36% split between him and Matt, the beatified hero of redemption island. Their metaphorical faceoff became a central narrative to what could have been a boring season, consisting of one man's total domination, but instead was a two-man battle between conventional ideals of good and conventional traits of evil. Rob and Matt made this season what it was, which was awesome. Boston Rob Mariano finally got what he's long deserved: the title of "sole Survivor" and the Probst seal of approval as the best of the best. Now if only Grant would forgive him and the bromance could live on.

As for next season, Survivor: South Pacific, the redemption island twist will be back. Also returning is the concept of redemption for two former survivors with unfinished business. Let the speculation on whom that will be begin as we wait patiently (and for a very long time) for the new season.

Good vs. Great: a Survivor faceoff

Until this week I've been watching the 22nd season of Survivor rather casually. I'd pay attention to the first fifteen minutes or so, just to make sure Matt won the duel, then I'd casually watch, just to ensure Rob was still in control- both these things in tact, I wouldn't care who was voted out or why. It turns out I may be returning to this system in coming weeks, but last night's episode had me on the hook as Matt returned to the game and threatened to unseat Rob when the tribes merged.

Here's the trouble with this matchup: I really really want to root for Matt. I have been rooting for Matt, from the moment he won his first redemption island duel. He's a great hero- a smart, attractive, impressive young man whose golden hair and unwavering faith, though annoying with too much airtime, make him the perfect force of good on the island (ooh, Jacob reference anyone?) Matt is the very definition of a good guy. And if he'd gone along with his plan (to secretly team up with Mike and Andrea, wait 2 weeks while they collectively eliminated Steve and Phil, then flip on Rob), he'd have officially become as good a strategist as he is a challenge player. That plan was awesome (though much of the credit does go to Mike- my second favourite player in the game, though his opposition of my first favourite is not helpful), the fact that Matt didn't go for it makes me think he's a little crazy, but it did solidify is "good" status as he was hopelessly and selflessly loyal to his team.

But the problem with liking the good guy this season is that he's playing with Rob Mariano, who has not only proved to be a decently good guy himself, when it comes to the game of Survivor he is one of a very small handful of those who are truly great (it's pretty much just him and Parvati who are tried and true). Sure, Rob could have benefited from Matt's strangely motivated loyalty, but he had no real way of being sure that it was going to stick. In voting him right back out, Rob solidified his team and earned the respect of David- undoubtedly the first Zapatera who will flip. I think the trick to kicking Matt of redemption island will lie in voting out Grant the greek god of an athlete (who's one of my picks for the win).

For story purposes I'll be rooting for Matt to once again remain alive as a symbol of goodness on redemption island. But the mistake this week that stopped him from flipping the game but retained his "goodness" may be unforgivable. As for the great Rob, I'll always love him. Even if the jury refuses to let him win if he makes it to the end, Rob is running this game, playing this naive group of people who think they're smart like a fiddle. The moment he named the new tribe after an inside joke he shares with his wife, convincing the others that it's a Spanish word about the sea, eliminated any doubt that had somehow managed to survive the moment when he threw an idol clue into a volcano.

Matt's good, in the person sense, but leaving aside the personal, it's Rob who's inarguably great.

Best Twist Ever?

A week from tonight, Survivor: Redemption Island premieres at 8pm on CBS. This season, along with the return of fan favorites Rob and Russell, a new twist has been added to the game. Each week the eliminated castoff will be sent to live alone on Redemption Island. When the following individual is voted off, the two will compete in a duel and the loser will leave the game for good. Eventually, the remaining player on Redemption Island will rejoin the game and have a shot at the million dollar prize.

Today, we had the opportunity to listen in as executive producer Mark Burnett explained the new twist, offered some useful insight, and made several random metaphors (something about the show being an envelope and each season the letter which contains different words...lost me there). New details were revealed, anticipation was built, and several questions were left unanswered.

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Survivor Badassery: woo hoo!

At the finale of Heroes vs. Villains, Jeff mentioned it might be fun to have the two power-player rivals back to go head to head one day. On February 16 we'll finally get to see that as the 16 new Redemption Island castaways are joined by two of the greatest players ever to play Survivor.

First, there's Russell Hantz. The small little troll man is an imp of deception and manipulation. He steals, he cheats, he belittles the other castaways to within an inch of their self-worth. And he does it well. He's played twice: Samoa and Heroes vs. Villains, and never not made the finale. He's also never won the game. A lot of people say it's because his social game isn't as strong as his strategic one, others that the jury voters are always just bitter and stupid and never reward the right person. While I agree with the latter for the Heroes vs. Villains vote, Parvati should have won, Sandra didn't do anything. I really think Natalie played a really solid game in Samoa. She did the dirty work and strategizing (she did!) when she had to, and played used Russell as much if not more than he used her. She deserved the win. Russell's challenge will be fixing that last piece missing from his impressive game play. Russell has become the icon of recent Survivor history. There have been 4 seasons since fall 2009, he's played in 3 of them. If he makes it to the finals this time around it'll be a record. Rob, who premiered in season 4, has the history of the game behind him, but Russell's got the current climate dominated (not to mention he outlasted Rob by 21 days in Heroes vs. Villains).

As for Rob, he's really three famous Survivor players in one. There's Marquesas Rob from way back when the series was only in its 4th season. He was rough around the edges, manipulative, and voted out early. Then there's All-Star Rob, the 10th place finisher was inexplicably brought back for season 8's assembly of "the best of the best", and it's a good thing he was. With villainous strategy he'd only gotten to show hints of in Marquesas, Rob dominated All-Stars. The catch, though, was that the 25-year-old single guy who was only looking out for himself the first time around fell in love on All-Stars. He was a villain to everyone else but Rob played white knight to his one ally Amber, negotiating their way to the finale and winning her the money (yes, I insist that it was 100% his strategy that led to her win). He proposed on the finale and they've been together ever since (getting married on TV and running the Amazing Race twice along the way), Amber recently gave birth to their second child. So when he came back for Heroes vs. Villains, Rob was understandably a different guy. He hadn't played the game in 6 years, was in a totally different place in his life, and was confronted by strange new twists that had been added since All-Stars (the biggest of which was Russell's iconic tool- the hidden immunity idol). Despite being on the Villains tribe, these factors meant one thing for Rob's gameplay: he played like a Hero. He powered through challenges, taking on a leadership role (like oldschool Colby) and negotiated peaceful tribal voting and a sharing of the inconvenient immunity idol. But the game isn't played that way any more, the great and obvious, powerhouse heroes don't win anymore. Rob was voted out 8th and didn't even make the jury. But much like his 4th place finish on The Amazing Race:All-Stars, Rob ran faster than everyone else, he just got knocked out.

Notoriety will be a major hurdle for both players to overcome but I think Rob's might work in his favour and Russell's against him. When he played Heroes vs. Villains, Russell's season had yet to air, he's never played this game as a famous player- his villain reputation will hurt him a bit. However, he's won Fan Favourite every time he's played, it's possible that everyone will be clambering to climb on his back. Rob, however, proved himself a good leader instead of a backstabby player in Heroes vs. Villains. If they're smart, his team will keep him at least to help them to the merge. My prediction is that Rob will do very well and Russell go out early. But history is very very much not on my side in that prediction. So we'll see.

2010 in Reality TV: Survivor

With 2 great offerings this year, the ultimate reality show still reigns supreme 21 seasons in. The institution, still hosted by best-in-the-business Jeff Probst, kicked off 2010 with possibly their best idea in 10 years: Heroes vs. Villains. The season brought back Survivor icons like Colby and Jerri, fan favourites like Rupert and Boston Rob as well as some of the best strategists ever in Russell and Parvati. Despite the tragically early departure of Boston Rob (one of the all-time best players), some bad game by My TV's favourite would-be couple Jerri and Coach, Colby's melancholy journey, and the completely obscene ending (it should have been a landslide for Parvati, who played a near-perfect game, Sandra shouldn't have even been there), Heroes vs. Villains was still an unbelievable season. That moment when Parvati pulled 2 idols from her sock, gave them both away and completely flipped the game will not soon be forgotten.

Mark Burnett and Co. followed that up with a pretty decent offering this fall, Survivor: Nicaragua. Plagued with terrible twists early on (tribes by age, the medallion of power), the season quickly sorted itself out and gave way to some wonderfully engrossing characters. NaOnka quickly surfaced as one of the series' greatest villains (and redeemed herself as the only juror to show any grace or perspective at final tribal- an unbelievable moment), Marty as a keen strategist and Jimmy Johnson as a strange celebrity sacrificial lamb. The grotesque (though strangely popular) Brenda was happily cut early-ish and the overly-fiesty Jane taken down as well to be replaced by a band of strangely excellent game players. Other than Chase (the annoyingly successful flip-flopper/coaster who quickly became my least favourite), the final 4 were all great players and fun characters. Holly, the sleeper agent of the season, played an immaculate social and physical game until those final weeks when she lost her strategic edge, Sash made some of the most impressively subtle maneuvers I've ever seen to ultimately hold more power over the course of the season than anyone else and Fabio, my favourite by far, had everyone (including most of the audience) fooled into thinking he was a lot less than he turned out to be, pulling out one of the most impressive power runs of the series and at 21 becoming the youngest winner ever (LOVE). A rough start, but not a bad follow-up to the spring's unbelievable season.

Up next is what sounds like a truly awesome idea: Redemption Island. February marks the premiere of "the biggest twist in Survivor history" (in theory, although I would argue that the hidden immunity idols take the cake). Once a castaway is voted off the island, they'll be taken to another island where they'll live in isolation. The next castoff will join them, briefly. Then comes the fight to the death (read: physical challenge + puzzle), winner gets to stay on redemption island to fight the next castoff, loser leaves the game for good. The person left on redemption island gets back into the game somehow (though when is still unknown, if I understand correctly). It sounds interesting, great even. Here's hoping it works (though I think it should be a one-off experiment to come back every once in awhile, not an every-season thing). In the meantime, I'm going to bask in the glory of Fabio's fabulous win and count down the days until he's offered a spot on the next all-star season. 

The Heartwarmy and the Backstabby

Anyone who knows their seasonal pop culture knows one thing for certain: that there's nothing quite so heartwarming as the arrivals gate at an airport. Love Actually teaches us that. And at this time of year, the lessons of Love Actually are not easily ignored. So, the arrivals gate- the loving embraces; the unparalleled grins; the seemingly stable people completely losing control and bursting into tears at the sight of loved ones; the sort of hugs where the people look as if they can never quite bring themselves to let go. For half an episode every season, that's how Survivor feels- on Family day.

Once a season, towards the end- when the castaways are tattered and torn, beaten down, skinny as rails and paranoid as hell- superhost Jeff Probst conjures their families miraculously out of the jungle. After a brief re-connection, the loved-ones have to battle for the right to spend more time together. The losers get torn apart. This is always my favourite episode. Forget the potential for phenomenal scheming (see the classic Johnny Fairplay grandmother lie) and the wonderful humanization of villains (who knew Russell had a loving wife and Parvati a caring father?!), I just love watching people burst ridiculously into tears because they simply can't deal anymore. Does that sound cruel? That's not how I meant it. What I mean is, at this point in the game, no matter how close their alliance is or how much power they have, the castaways have usually (FINALLY) reached the conclusion that they can't really trust each other, not really. But you know who you can trust? Your mom. You can usually believe that your best friend, your son, your sister or that guy you've been married to for 25 years isn't gonna vote you off any metaphorical or literal island any time soon. That giant wash of relief that comes from seeing someone you can count on no matter what, the uncontrollable tears, the desperation to keep them close instead of having to put the walls back up- it's an awesome humanity and consistently the best bits of any Survivor season.

That lasts half an episode. Then the idiots retool, attempt to play their terrible poker faces, fail miserably at saving themselves, keep the most annoying players around and do unthinkable things like threaten my beloved Fabio. Not that it wasn't a good idea to get rid of Jane, it was a very very good idea. It always annoys me when someone makes a big deal about loyalty and betrayal on Survivor. You're on SURVIVOR, either learn how to play or shut up but don't complain that your cheeseburger came with cheese. That said, it was still a bit of a stinging move and it mostly bothered me because of the central alliance's faith in their stupidest member. Chase has GOT to go. The guy's a wildcard, and not in a wonderful Parvati-has-2-idols-and-gives-them-both-away-completely-flipping-the-game-without-any-notice kind of way. He's a wildcard in the he-has-no-idea-what-he's-doing kind of way. He's a heart player not a head player, but his affections shift so randomly that not even the essential organ can be counted on. He's GOT TO GO. Holly's a good player (though I had forgotten about Dan's shoes, woman's a lunatic!- thanks for the reminder Jane) and I absolutely love Fabio (did you catch his rhetoric around the Freud debate a couple weeks ago?- kid's playing a part, write him off and prove yourself an idiot) but I think my support's behind Sash at this point. He's the best player. And the best player deserves the money. And I mean the all-around best player, not the Russell-got-robbed argument for best player. Natalie played the social game AND made strategic moves that went unnoticed (the reversal on Erik that turned the tide on Galu and consequently the entire game- entirely her play), but that's an argument for another day. What I'm saying is that Sash is playing strategy, social and physical all well and he's brought himself back from the brink of destruction many times over. It's his game to lose. But a win for Fabio and I'd go home smiling.

This Week in Reality

Top Chef had their uneventful reunion show this week. It served little purpose other than to put further salt in the wound of Kevin's unexpected (read: not really deserved) victory. What was great though was that they announced that in December they'll start their first ever All-Stars season. I love a good all-stars season. And while I'm sad that there'll be no previous winners in it (and no Brian Voltaggio), there will be such awesome people as Spike, Marcel, Antonia, Carla, Fabio, Jen (the great one from the terrible Hosea season), Jen (the pretty cool one from the awesome Voltaggio season), Tiffany and Angelo. Look for the amazing Richard Blais to finally top the competition. Cannot wait!

Top Chef: Just Desserts returned for a second episode. There is something kinda badass about the original Top Chef. It's trial by literal fire. Just Desserts is, well, fluffier, obviously. The chefs are certainly no less talented (they may even be more talented) and the skill set may even be harder (there's no tasting a cake before you serve it, it's chemistry and faith) but it just doesn't have the cool factor that its predecessor does. It's fun, but it's just a little less thrilling. That said, it does have a good batch of crazy. Early favourite Seth (who looks delightfully like Michael C Hall) busted out many many childish tantrums and breakdowns in this episode alone, a highlight being the tearful pronouncement that "The Red Hots are for my mommy!" during a candy quickfire. His cool-headed bro (aka only other straight guy) Morgan stepped up in my estimation by flat out calling him an asshole on camera when he was being, well, an asshole. That said, he's a talented chef and I feel bad that he's being so ostracized. Clearly he's got some screws loose and flipped out, treating people badly, but he apologized and tried to make up for it, and no one would let him back in- it was sad to watch. But bitchiness aside, these are talented chefs.  Zach's quickfire desert was incredible and I have a feeling I'll grow to really love Yigit and Erik the baker. It's a good cast, though Malika definitely should have gone before Tim, I do not like that woman. And Gail, my favourite Top Chef judge, is a fine host alongside pretty darn cool head judge Johnny Iuzzini.

Survivor eliminated the macho guy (ironically named Shannon) from the young team that previously thought themselves indestructable. Despite some crazy behaviour from lunatic Holly, the older team pulled together nicely in this one and a mini-alliance formed between Jill and Marty that seems promising. I don't know why but I'm looking for Yve to step up as a great player on that tribe. As for the youngins, they're already having serious unity struggles, NaOnka is clearly a lunatic who inspires me to throw things at my screen and Brenda seems like trouble. I'd say Alina and Kelly B seem like the smartest of the young lot but something about the way Jud (aka Fabio) comported himself at tribal council was strangely impressive; he doesn't seem that smart but he seems kind of smart, if you know what I mean, I like him.

Project Runway FINALLY eliminated their most obnoxious designer, Ivy. The woman was all attitude and construction skills without the design aesthetic to back it up, so glad she's gone. Michael C landed in the bottom for the first time for what I thought was a fairly pretty dress and Andy landed back in the top with a truly monstrous "high fashion" creation. Valerie, an early frontrunner, had a breakdown and basically solidified her slow descent from finals material. Super annoying and egomaniacal Gretchen got lots of praise for a hideous velvet dressing gown thing but likable Christopher and April were safe. Mondo, easily my favourite designer/character of the lot took another win including a great prize of money and exposure for an awesome "very Mondo" colourful creation. I'm predicting a Mondo/Gretchen finale with that third spot up for grabs (my controversial pick: Michael C).

The Amazing Race returned with a new season and all sorts of arrogance (lots of boyfriends who think they're boss, stupid blonds making up "mean girl" nicknames, etc...) and a couple teams worth rooting for (mainly the acappella guys, love them). I'm also going to make my prediction for this year's winner right here and now: I think the doctors have a shot at being the first all-female team to make it, I really do; they're athletic and smart with the type of relationship that's unshakable enough to guarantee success. It promises to be a typical but entertaining season.

Where I Stand

I realize I have fallen behind on the many many things happening in the TV world right now. It's finale time, which means it's My TV Season Wrap-Up time so my plate is quite full of writing to be done. In the mean time, in case you haven't been following @mytvblog on twitter (which you all should), I thought I'd get you caught up briefly on where I stand on the TV issues of the moment:

The Survivor and Amazing Race Finales: in both cases the wrong person won and the most deserving competitor took second. As much as I would have liked to see Caite win the race and throw it in the face of all the snobby pseudo-intellectuals who teased her, the title should have belonged to the cowboys, who ran the most consistently impressive race. As for Survivor, the finale was fun because Jeff was super snarky with bitter Russell but the only reason Sandra should have won was if she had actually succeeded in taking Russell out when she tried. This was Parvati's season, she played the best game and really should have had it.

The Lost Finale: I'm generally pro, though I understand why the mythology-oriented fans are left disappointed. It was an emotional, character-driven, spirituality-heavy farewell and if that's not your Lostian focus then you couldn't have been happy. As for me, a super sap who's all about character over plot, I loved that it got me emotionally reacting to Lost again. Despite solid writing, excellent effects and superb acting, the MVP award goes to composer Michael Giacchino for creating iteration after iteration of his iconic "important emotional moment" music for the episode's record breaking number of important emotional moments.

NBC Thursday Finales: Community offered its weakest episode yet (read Rachael's Season Wrap-Up for more, all of which I agree with), 30 Rock's finale was awesome after a really rocky season (again, see Rachael's Wrap-Up) and The Office was hardly noteworthy at all (hence, Wrap-Up still pending) except for the promise of Holly's return.

The Grey's Anatomy Finale: Amazing. A couple minor flaws but generally the best episode they've done possibly ever (after an altogether strong season). I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, even though I knew who would perish/survive because of contract news.

The Dancing with the Stars Finale: The right person won and managed to remind me that even if I despise her current band, I loved her first one and she was my favourite when she got her big break on Popstars back when I was a kid who watched Popstars. Also, Derek Hough is a god of choreography and dance and energy. Also, I love Evan Lysacek, he reminds me so much of my friend Chris.

Tomorrow's American Idol Finale: Team Bowersox!

The Bachelorette: I'm still not on board with Ali (she was just WAY too mean to Vienna, who danced on the DwtS finale btw and was beautiful!) but I do love The Bachelorette. I'd watch Chris Harrison do anything and there are already some really promising bachelors (including a cutie from Vancouver who caught my eye early).

Friday Night Lights: It's back and I'm still OBSESSED. I love very few things as much as I love this show.

The Reality Reality: Dancing, Dumbassery and some other stuff

1) Nigel announced who the female hip hop master is going to be for the SYTYCD All-Star pool and it's the least surprising news since he announced the male hip hopper (Twitch). It's season 4's Comfort Fedoke, the best female popper the show's ever seen from easily its best hip hop season.

2) I'm pretty sure I hate Survivor. After last week's travesty of a vote I was semi-sure I hate Survivor but now with my other favourite gone, Jerri completely coasting and the heroes (the 5 who stepped up to cushion the blow last week a little) threatening to be fooled by misinterpreting the villain tribe dynamics, I'm sure that I hate Survivor, or at least this season. Even if the promo for next week is a red herring (which, let's face it CBS, it probably is), the heroes still aren't proving their smarts along with their skills the way they should. And the villains, oh boy. The only one who seems to see through Russell is Sandra, whom I also can't stand so where does that leave me? Hey Jerri, step up! Your perfect man just got the boot because you made a mistake last week and couldn't recover and make a big move to save him. This week's episode was actually painful to watch. Not only was useless/snarky skeletor saved elimination (again, DON'T TALK BACK TO JEFF!) with my beloved crazyman Coach going in her place but ho bag queen Bee still thinks she's ruling the roost even though it's actually her hillbilly man-toy calling the shots, it took quite a lot of restraint to not hurl things at the TV every time her gloating little snicker showed up. I really just want this to be over so we can get to the reunion episode and see Rob again- is that weird?

3) In happier reality news, The Amazing Race is still progressing as the best season since Nick and Starr took the top prize; Project Runway sent exactly the right 2 people to Bryant Park (go Seth Aaron!) and is forcing a showdown between 2 others (go Mila, I don't like you but I REALLY don't like Jay) which is superfun; I don't watch American Idol regularly but know that the best competitors (Crystal Bowesox!) are holding their own, the worst are being eliminated steadily and the judges heroically stepped in when America tried to vote off the wrong guy this week.

Now back to ACTUAL reality.

Kelly Talks Survivor

Anyone who watched last night's episode of Survivor and has read any comment I've made on this season so far has to know that I am not pleased. My second favourite, Jerri, chose the wrong side of a good fight and sent my favourite, Rob, home before his time. Props have to go, I suppose, to Russell who has found a way to convince me that he's not actually outmatched against the all-stars but I just can't be happy for last season's favourite. My allegiance was with Rob, he was the only one I really cared about as an old-school Survivor fan, and with him gone I'm not even sure I want to continue with the season.

If I end up coming back, I think I'll be rooting for Colby and the Heroes. Other than eliminating Tom, I don't think they've necessarily been voting wrong this whole time and that group of 5 does seem like they could be strong together, not unlike last season's Foa Foa Four. Colby finally seems to be stepping up physically though his intensity does need to tone down. I'm fond of JT from just the little I've seen of him and his big move on Cirie was the best Hero move of the season, so maybe he can be my new favourite.

As for the Villains, I'm not sure I'll be able to get over the hurt of their stupid decision and be on their side again. I can't watch another troupe of idiots follow around Russell like puppy dogs. And though getting out the strong players now is a good strategy, Rob could have gotten them so much further as a group than sneaky Russell, he's also just so much more pleasant to watch. I love Jerri but this is on her so I may have to find someone else to root for (even though the only other woman left on the island I can tolerate is Candace). (Well, actually, the blame should be on moronic Tyson from last week, who's elimination swayed the numbers and made way for the possibility of Russell's takeover). If there is a Villain I can still root for it's Coach. While fierce and loudly proclaimed loyalty is never a good game strategy (though secret loyalty to very specific people actually is), I though Coach's refusal to vote against Rob but inability to break his word to Russell was really quite valiant. He will surely fall soon enough to Russell's schemes but for now at least there's a hero to cheer for at the Villains' camp.

Farewell Rob, to me you will always be the brightest of all Survivor's All-Stars.

And apparently super host Jeff Probst agrees with me. Click Here to read his hilarious blog about the most recent episode. 

Two Villains Torched

The main difference between scripted series and reality television is that true reality television is seldom influenced by the audience (with the exception of those shows which require America to vote in certain categories). For this reason, the fan favorites on shows like The Amazing Race hardly ever win and the most enjoyable roommates on The Real World barely get air time. So the best episodes of these reality shows occur when the viewer feels as though the episode was written for them (with the exception of those clearly scripted shows like The Hills or The Kardashians).

What I'm getting at here, is tonight's Survivor felt scripted...in the amazing that's-exactly-what-I-wanted-to-happen way. The episode began on a dreary note with Jeff announcing that the players would be competing for individual immunity because each tribe would be voting someone off. This has been a clear ploy at causing drama on both tribes for a few years now, and for the most part it's always seemed incredibly unfair. It's one thing to get rid of two players during the merger but the tribes should be all about forming a strong tribe to win. Essentially, the Villains deserved another chance at completely clobbering the Heroes, but instead one of them was fairly sent packing for viewer reasons.

After getting past my initial frustrations, I settled in for the most exciting tribal councils this season. Candace out performed all the men on her tribe to win immunity (even beating the self proclaimed niece out-doer James and his roid rage). Colby quickly settled in for his eviction and even honorably told the tribe not to scheme and to just enjoy their last day with him. Apparently reverse psychology works best you aren't even trying to use it, because within minutes J.T., Rupert, and Amanda were arguing over whether or not James' injury really would be a detriment to the tribe. Amanda, playing the worst game of Survivor to date, once again showed her emotions routing for James and convinced him to demonstrate his racing abilities....which he did but failed at.

Over in the Villians' camp, it was automatically decided that Parvati would leave but everyone would make Russell think it was his turn so they could flush out the idol.If Rob were playing a chess game against Russell, this would be the point where he puts Russell's king in check. Unfortunately, for the first time this season, Russell flexed his brain muscles and quickly caught wind of their plan. He pulled aside Parvati and Danielle and threw out a plan to give Parvati the idol thus ensuring both of them stay in. Looks like Russell escaped that check and planted one of his own on Rob's queen. Unfortunately for Russell, Rob is proving to be quite the enemy as he realizes Russell could potentially give away the idol and thus the best decision would be to split the votes 3 to 3 (with Rob, Coach, Jerry, Courtney, Tyson, and Sandra splitting their votes between Parvati and Russell). And check to Russell's queen...again. But wait! Russell retaliates by attempting to convince Tyson of his desire to give in and vote out Parvati, hoping that Tyson would change his vote to Parvati and leaving 2 votes for Russell instead of the necessary three.

Regardless of all the back and forth between the tribes, the expectation was the Russell's plan would inevitably fail and he would be sent home, while the idiotic Heroes would continue their poor moves and vote out Colby. The Villains arrive at tribal to vote someone out first and then they have the opportunity to watch the Heroes' tribal (a reward from their challenge win when Rob outperformed Candace for some hot dogs). The suspense builds as Jeff asks for any hidden immunity idols and then...commercial break! ARGH! After commercial, Russell stands up and walks over to Jeff with the idol (my initial reaction: I knew this guy lost his game this season, he may be saving himself but there goes his last chance for survival due to his own pride). Russell shocks the world, and re-fosters some much needed love on my part, when he makes a speech to Coach about keeping his word and demonstrates his integrity by giving the immunity to Parvatie. As Jeff reads the votes, Parvati's 4 votes are voided and Tyson receives 3 votes to Russells 2.

Next, the Heroes walk in as the Villains begin their hot dog feast. The Heroes' resident villain, James, shows his classless nature again by insulting Colby and comparing him to someone in a fat suit (if Colby is fat than I am obese) and showing his poor sportsmanship by complaining about the hot dog eating opponents. In the end, the Heroes shocked the world by making the first smart decision and getting rid of James. HALLELUJAH THE VILLAIN IS GONE! What's that? Two of my least favorite contestants gone in one night? FANTASTIC.

Further Thoughts:
*Candace is lucky she won that immunity. The girl worked hard for it and deserved some extra time on the island. Had she lost, however, James would still be in and you can bet Candace would have been gone without a second thought.
*Russell finally shows his strategy but a huge amount of luck helped him out. More than luck, actually, what cemented Russell's plan was Tyson's stupidity. When you have a solid alliance of 6 people, you stick to that regardless. Tyson's instructions were to vote out Russell and had he done that he would still be in the game.
*Thus, I predict if the Villains lose again Russell will leave.
*I'm beginning to think this is going to be a season where the strong winning alliance will definitely not be from one tribe. None of the Heroes have strong ties left (possibly Amanda, J.T., and Rupert but the first two definitely have friends on the other tribe who are more important to them) and the Villains will likely team up with some Heroes to get rid of the outsiders on their team (notable Parvati and Danielle if they make it to the merger, assuming Russell doesn't).
*Rob won his tribe yet another victory with the reward of hot dogs. His physical strength will surely keep him around for a while but he may need to calm it down a bit or else everyone will see him as the indisputable threat.
*Watch for Amanda to actually start playing the game well. Her emotional connection to James has been severely holding her back and this is a girl who has made the finals twice. Now all she needs to do is hide her already apparent alliance with Parvati if the two make it to the merge.

Obsessions of March 23, 2010

My Theatre: My TV's new sister site, My Theatre premiered recently with reviews of Toronto's new hit My Mother's Lesbian Jewish Wiccan Wedding, a Conneticut Repertory Theatre Comedy of Errors and the national touring production of The Lion King. You'll also find a link to Jude Law's wonderful Hamlet-themed SNL monologue and a first-hand account of life as an actor charged with villainy from contributing author Jim Melo. Check in regularly for more from the world of theatre as the "My Entertainment World" family grows. www.mytheatreblog.ca


The return of United States of Tara: my second favourite Showtime show is back on the air (second only to the incomparable Dexter). Emmy winner Toni Collette returns in her powerhouse title role with all the wonderful supporting cast that made season one of Diablo Cody's heartfelt dramedy so memorable. This week's premiere episode has already started the season off in a promising direction.

Boston Rob: he was my favourite going in and has only risen in my estimation since the premiere of Heroes vs. Villains. Clearly the leader of his tribe, this Survivor veteran is too in control too early in the game to likely make it to the end but every week that he stays will be another week I love this season of Survivor (a show I have not watched faithfully since Rob's last appearance in the original All-Stars season).

Rowley: I'm not saying you should actually go see Diary of a Wimpy Kid, it's really just an ok movie at best. But if you do and come out of it not loving a kid named Rowley, something's wrong with you. Also, it needs to be said, Greg Heffley might be the worst role model I have ever seen on screen (then again, I've never seen a Miley Cyrus movie). 

The Amazing Race Cowboys: these charismatic sweethearts have proven themselves to be front-runners in an excellent season of the race. Surprisingly smart, daring as hell, cooperative, competitive and determined, Jet and Cord have everything they need to win the race (including the always helpful sibling relationship, a common race-winner).

Drop Dead Diva season one: I've been re-watching the show on my wonderful screener DVDs from Lifetime and am loving it now as much as (if not more than) I did the first time around.  It's even greater when you know the story of the show's creation. Read my interview with creator Josh Berman for the full scoop on the size 16 who carries herself like a supermodel. Season two premieres in June on Lifetime.

The Liam Triangle: Naomi is hands down the most interesting character on the new 90210 (though both Adrianna and Silver are plenty entertaining) and I'm usually rooting for her, but I think I may be on team Ivy in this one. Sure before the whole Jen thing Naomi and the incredibly hot Liam were perfect for one another but lately I really think that what the broody boy needs is a nice low-key surfer chick who just gets him.

The Actor's Shakespeare Project's Othello: Boston's premiere Shakespeare troupe conquered one of the bard's toughest tragedies with ease and artistry. Though Othello was outmatched by his cast mates (though cursed with an unsympathetically stupid character from the get go), Desdemona was breathtaking, Emilia heartrending and Iago thrilling.

Michael Imperioli: as I make my way through my Sopranos box set I find myself liking his character of Christopher more every episode. He quickly became the highlight of the series for me.


Bradley Whitford on The Sarah Silverman Program: I love to see my beloved Josh Lyman anywhere but the absurdity of him as a guest star on one of TV's oddest programs made me giggle delightedly.


Season 4 of Big Love: I know I never actually wrote about it (the fact that I missed the finale playing a definite part there) but I just want you to know that I loved this season every bit as much as its predecessors. Amy Acker is right, Big Love is the best thing out there.

All Mass No Class

Who would have thought that the most evil villain of all the Survivors would be the hero James?

This week marked my abandonment of the the Heroes tribe once and for all. After weeks and weeks of bad mouthing his fellow contestants and essentially acting like a high school bully, the once noble James finally got what appeared to be a delicious taste of karma. James took a not-so-hard fall during the reward challenged and messed up his knee causing him to sit out of the challenge. When the Heroes once again lost the reward challenge due to their inept puzzle skills (and Rob's amazing leadership skills), the vote came down to either Tom or James. Once again J.T. proved to be the decided vote. Would he stick with his original alliance of Amanda, James, and Rupert despite James' threatening injury or would he stay true to his new found alliance with Tom and Colby? Either way Candace was bound to listen to J.T. since she was clearly on the fence but pushing for a James exit. A dramatic tribal council ensued in which James once again placed all the blame on the two people he wanted out the most: Tom and Candace (anyone else having flashbacks of his speech to Stephenie about how she lost the challenge for the team? Someone is clearly trying to save his own ass by placing a target on his enemies'). And in the most disappointing tribal ever, J.T. for some idiotic reason got rid of Tom.

Now that this season is a quarter of the way through (and we don't have a new episode next week....grrrrrr!!!!), I shall re-rank the remaining contestants...take a look back at the previous Survivor posts to see how the ranks have changed after the first few episodes:

15/ James- Need I say more? As the most evil player this season, James has surpassed the title of villain; that distinction goes to someone who uses their deceitfulness to advance in the game, but James hides behind his muscles and bullies the other contestants. It doesn't help that he is solely in charge of voting out two of the most beloved heroes ever: Tom and Stephenie. As the biggest fan of Survivor ever, I promise to never watch this show again if James wins. Seriously.



14/ Amanda- As one of the returning favorites I was most looking forward to, Amanda has greatly disappointed fans by hiding behind James. The sister-brother relationship is understandable, but this is a girl who kicked some serious ass with her own strategic game play and all-female alliance (the glory days of Fans vs. Favorites). Unless Amanda starts playing for herself she is sure to stay at the bottom of this list and lose out on the million dollars...again.



13/ Rupert- If my hatred for James and Amanda wasn't so elevated due to this weeks episode, Rupert would have been last on the list. He is still loved by fans and considered one of the most heroic contestants but I don't see it. Case in point: throwing Jerry into the pole during tonight's reward challenge and then pretending it was an accident. Argue me on this point and I will replay the scene until you clearly see what happened: Rupert literally lifting her up and throwing her face-first into the pole. Someone horribly mislabeled the so called Heroes.

12/ Tyson- Still the only villain who has the title simply for being a jerk. Tyson has little air time this season and his only quips come during confessionals. All in all, another boring and undeserving contestant. He will sadly slide through the radar and I predict a final four finish unless a strong alliance takes him out.



11/ Candace- I want to love Candace but she made a dumb move tonight. The girl was smart enough to fight for James' termination but unfortunately it was J.T.'s call in the end. She had a momentary alliance with Colby during day one and it should have lasted much longer. Candace is next on the chopping block which James' made apparent tonight when he bashed her performance during tribal. If I were Candace, I would start the last minute scrambling immediately. Don't expect to see her make the merge.

10/ J.T.- I hate that J.T. beats out most of the villains on my list, but strategically I cannot bash his game. He got rid of the most strategic player last week but managed to stick with his original alliance and regain their trust...which is a rarity in this game. The main reason I have faith in J.T. is that I truly believe he has an alliance already secured on the opposite team. By teaming back up with James and Amanda, J.T. has assured himself a spot in the merge and I wouldn't be shocked if he joined forces with ex-allies Tyson and Coach.


9/ Russell- This guy was my number one pick for Villains prior the the premiere but he clearly is way out of his league. Russell thinks the immunity idol will save him but what he doesn't realize is he's no longer playing with idiots. Case in point: instructing Parvati to ride his coattails. Her response, "I don't ride coattails baby." She may need his help at this point, but she will cut him long before he cuts her. Also, Russell will only go far in this game if he aligns with Rob instead of targeting him. Sure, his immunity may work once to eliminate an enemy but I see Russell being one of the next two villains to leave, and deservedly so.

8/ Danielle- Danielle who? I'm still not entirely sure what she's doing on this season, and what she's done to deserve a spot. That being said, I can easily see her in the final four with Tyson...in a season of such strong players, the quiet ones often slide in to the end and sometimes even win (oh hey Amber).

7/ Colby- Notice Colby beat out three villains on my list? That's because Colby is the only semi-heroic hero left in the game. Sadly, unless his team starts winning this cowboy's days are numbered. I strongly believe the Heroes won't change their strategy and that Candace will be next followed by Colby (unless they want to just get rid of the major outcast first and kindly give Candace another week). Colby's position on this list would have been much higher had he not showed his cocky nature during the reward challenge...which he then lost. Come on Colby, in a tribe full of villains we need one actual hero.

6/ Coach- Really?!? Number six? I hated Coach prior to this season, although apparently only ranked him as 5 out of 10 on the Villains tribe. To give him a spot in the top half of my overall list really demonstrates my love for the Villains. Maybe it's his random showmance for Jerri, or maybe it's his bro-love for Rob, either way Coach is actually entertaining (in a good way) this season. More importantly, I look forward to the day when he must choose between Rob and Russell...it's going to be good.

5/ Sandra- This lady is not afraid to hold back. We've seen little of her this season but every time she's on screen I tend to be captivated. It's the semi-carefree attitude that won Sandra the million last time and I predict she will last longer than any other previous winner (J.T. and Parvati being the only other ones remaining). I might if wager a final four finish for her as well.



4/ Jerri- I like her. Again, this is a new feeling and I'm not sure how to really go about expressing it but Jerri just rubs me the right way for once. She seems lighthearted and fun this go around. Sure Jerri might not have a solid alliance but if the Villains stick together (and I suspect they mostly will) she will go far in this game.


3/ Parvati- This girl is doomed. I still love her but she's doomed. The best/worst thing to happen to Parvati is Russell. Best because he will be targeted before she is, but worst because she will be targeted next (or first if the immunity idol threatens the others). At this point, Parvati's only real chance is to hope that the Villain's keep winning immunity challenges. Sadly, Parvati's days are numbered.




2/ Courtney- Okay so I've already said that Tyson and Danielle will probably make the final four but Courtney is another name to add to the list, and the first I actually want to have make it. Once again, because of the awesome winning streak of her team, Courtney has been given little airtime this season; however, she seems to be having a lot more fun this time around. As a decent strategist, I look forward to seeing Courtney being the game (but don't expect that to happen until post-merger).


1/ Boston Rob- I have no words. He single-handedly is responsible for most of the Villains' wins and it's about time this all-star got what he deserved: one-million. Oddly enough, Rob's biggest threat this time around is that he is the most likable tribe mate and he would not be the best guy to bring to the finals because of that (there's also Russell's pesky idol which may bring about his demise unless he's smart...stay tuned).



Interestingly, Courtney and Parvati are the only ones who remain at the top of my list. Stayed tuned for Survivor's return in two weeks and look forward to my new rankings once five more castaways leave and we're left with the final 10.